Text: Matthew 18:
21-35
Date: July 25, 2019
Place: SGBC, NJ
I awoke one day this
week with the subject of forgiveness on my mind—it remained on my mind all day. That evening I received an email from Pastor
Joe Terrel—he too had been thinking on the same subject all day. He drafted an essay on forgiveness which he
sent out in that email. I was blessed by
it and told him that if the Lord enabled me I planned to preach on the subject
soon.
So tonight our subject
is: How Often Should I
Forgive my Brother?
Matthew 18:21: Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how
oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
Offenses will come: from
the world, from our brethren and from us.
We will cause offenses because we are sinners and we dwell in a world of
sinners.
This is one of those
all-wise reasons it pleased God to save by the foolishness of preaching. He cements us together as his church so that we
experience being offended and we also offend.
We experience God’s grace which causes us to repent and ask forgiveness
when we offend. Also, his grace causes
us to show mercy and forgive when we are offended. By this we learn that the word of God truly
does live and abide forever in our hearts and in the hearts of our
brethren. We learn God’s grace is truly
sufficient. We learn that Christ truly
is in our midst.
Now, we are talking
about a brother, a sister, sinning against me personally, offending me
personally—"How oft shall I forgive
him?” Be sure to hear this as what
“I” should do to my brother—not what my brother should do to me—“how oft
shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?”
The scribes and
Pharisee’s misinterpreted Amos 1:3 and Amos 2: 1, “Thus saith the LORD; For three
transgressions of Moab, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment
thereof.” So they taught men to
forgive their brethren three times, but no more. So Peter probably thought he was being nearer
the spirit of Christ when he said, “Seven times.” But Christ’s answer shows that he was
very far off.
Matthew 18: 22: Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto
thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
This is not a
specific number; it means forgive without limit. I should put no limit on how many times I
forgive a brother who has sinned against me; I should forgive as many times as
I have occasion to forgive. The apostle Paul had the spirit of our Master when
he wrote, "Forgiving one another, even as God…for Christ’s sake…hath
forgiven you" (Eph_4:32). “Even as God”—How has God forgiven
us? How often? How much?
I cannot put a limit on how often or how much God has forgiven me! So I am to forgive my brethren as often as
God hath forgiven me! “For Christ’s
sake”—What did it take for God to forgive us justly? It took the precious
blood of his dear Son. The blood of our
dear Substitute is our chief motive to forgive our brethren. Then our Lord gave a parable—an earthly story
to illustrate heavenly truth.
Matthew 18: 23: Therefore is the kingdom of heaven
likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.
Christ is King of his kingdom; his people his servants. God’s salvation begins with God calling us
and making us give account to our Lord.
He reveals to us how much we owe.
Matthew 18: 24: And when he had begun to reckon, one was
brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.
This is a sum that could never be paid; millions
or trillions; it represents every sinners sin-debt to God.
Matthew 18: 25: But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his
lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had,
and payment to be made.
We have nothing with which to pay God. We owe eternal death and perfect obedience. We cannot pay.
Matthew 18: 26: The servant therefore fell down, and
worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.
27: Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him,
and forgave him the debt.
God, for Christ’s sake—by the blood of Christ—has
compassion on every sinner who falls down at Christ’s feet begging for mercy; God
sets us free from the bondage of the law; by forgiving us our sin-debt because
Christ made his elect the righteousness of God in him.
Matthew 18: 28: But the same servant went out, and found
one of his fellowservants, which owed him a hundred pence:
This was a very small debt; 1 to 1 million in comparison
to the debt his lord forgave him. No
matter what our fellow believer does to us it is nothing in comparison to what
we have done to God and to the great forgiveness God has shown us.
Matthew 18: 28…and he laid hands on him, and took him
by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. 29: And his fellowservant fell
down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will
pay thee all. 30: And he would not: but
went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.
This fellowservant said to him almost the same words he
said to the lord of the kingdom. His
lord had just shown him forgiveness of a far greater debt. Yet, he would not forgive his fellowservant
of a debt so small that it was nothing in comparison. This is the hard, unmerciful, unregenerate
heart we reveal within us if put a limit on forgiveness of our brethren.
Matthew 18: 31: So when his fellowservants saw what was
done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was
done. 32: Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked
servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: 33: Shouldest
not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on
thee?
Paul said, “forgive one another, even as God, for
Christ’s sake, hath forgiven you.”
Matthew 18: 34: And his lord was wroth, and delivered him
to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. 35: So
likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts
forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.
Subject: How Oft Should I Forgive my Brother?
Proposition: The true child of God has been forgiven so great a debt
by God for Christ’s sake, that we should from our hearts forgive every one
his brother their trespasses without limit.
Divine: I want to show you three motives for forgiveness from
this parable: 1) The greatness of God’s mercy 2) The smallness of my brother’s
sins 3) The consequences of an unforgiving spirit
THE GREATNESS OF GOD’S
FORGIVENESS
Those born again of
God are motivated to forgive by the greatness of God’s forgiveness of our
sins. The servant owed his lord v24: “ten
thousand talents.” It was a great
sum. The servant could never pay what he
owed. We owed God a debt which cannot be
calculated. We have personally not given
God the glory due his holy name; we personally owe God perfect, righteous
obedience from a holy heart. Instead, we
have personally sinned against holy God himself—all sinners have personally “sinned
and come short of the glory of God” (Rom_3:22-23). We personally owe God perfect, righteous
obedience from a holy heart, and due to our sins, we personally owe God the
eternal second death which the reprobate suffers in hell.
So we are like the servant—we cannot pay—v25: "He
had not to pay.” We were conceived
in sin so we came forth with an unholy heart with no ability to pay God the
righteous obedience we owe. And we
cannot pay God eternal death and yet live.
But God quickened us and brought us to Christ to beg for
mercy and God did us like he did this servant v27: “God was moved with
compassion and loosed us and forgave us all our debt." How was God just to forgive us all our
sins? How is God just to forgive
us? On behalf of his people, Christ paid our debt in full; our Substitute gave God
and his law perfect obedience even unto the death of the cross—perfect
life and perfect death—holiness and righteousness!
Therefore, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and
just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 Jn
1: 9). This is so, not just one time,
but every hour of our life.
Not only that—consider this—when a brother offends us and
they have asked forgiveness and we have forgiven them then we usually expect
them to show us love in order to restore our relationship since they are the
one who did the offending. But Christ
not only redeemed us by laying down his life and God our Father not only
forgives us for Christ’s sake, also, though God is the one we offended, the
Holy Spirit came and comforted us—the one offended came to the offender and
loved us into being reconciled to him.
Not only that—God not
only forgives, God forgets our sins against him.
Hebrews 8:12: For I
will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities
will I remember no more.
Isaiah 43:25: I, even
I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not
remember thy sins.
So our motive to
forgive is the greatness of God’s forgiveness of our sins. Therefore, it is not a matter of calculation
or limiting forgiveness to a certain number in the new heart God creates. Suppose I asked, “How often must I admire
God’s beautiful creation? how often must I love my wife and children? How often must I sympathize with the
poor who are treated unjustly?” You would have to say, “Until seventy times
seven.” Numbers have nothing to do
with it, it is natural to do. Well, in
the new heart God gives in which is no guile, love and forgiveness are the fruit
of the Spirit so that love and forgiveness are natural to the new nature. Our new man only needs to be moved for
forgiveness to come forth. As the lord was “moved with compassion” by
the servant begging mercy so those who are partakers of the divine nature are moved
to compassion by the Holy Spirit reminding us of the greatness of God’s
forgiveness toward us and by the great need of our brethren beseeching us for
forgiveness. Numbers have nothing to do
with forgiveness because we cannot calculate the greatness of God’s forgiveness
toward us! How oft has God forgiven you
your sins against him? How many sins has
God forgiven you? If God commands us to
forgive without limit, it is because there is an infinite ocean of forgiveness
in his own heart toward us! How can we
behold the great forgiveness we have received from God yet be unforgiving to our
brethren?
THE SMALLNESS OF MY
BROTHER’S SIN
True believers are
motivated to forgive by the smallness of my brother’s sin against me. The servant’s fellowservant only owed him v28
“a hundred pence.” Someone said
ten thousand talents was like 20 trillion dollars and a hundred pence like 20
dollars. Whatever my brother does to me,
in comparison to my sin against God, it is 20 dollars compared to 20 trillion.
Also, my brother
offended me in one thing. But my
offenses to God is a continued flow of acts coming from my sin-nature; every
hour God is forgiving me.
If all you owned was
a few acres of land and a neighbor’s fence crossed onto your property line for
a few feet then you would likely show him the property line. But if you owned 3,000 acres, you would not care. If a sinner’s only portion is in this world,
he is ready to fight if he is offended. But
when he becomes heir of an incorruptible inheritance—when he beholds all his
sins past, present and future are forgiven by God—he is ready to forgive and
forget his brothers’ offenses which are small and insignificant in comparison
to God’s great forgiveness. The more we
see the greatness of God’s forgiveness toward us, the smaller our brother’s
offenses will become.
So I am moved to forgiveness when the Holy Spirit makes
me consider the smallness of my brother’s offense which is nothing compared to
the great debt God has forgiven me. Do I
need God to daily forgive me of my great offenses? And will I not forgive my brother whose
offense is nothing? How oft should I
forgive my brother’s small offense against me? As often as God forgives me!
REVERENCE FOR GOD
The child of God is
motivated to forgive because we reverence God who says we should forgive as God
has forgiven us.
Matthew 18: 32: Then
his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I
forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: 33: Shouldest not thou also have had
compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? 34: And his lord
was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was
due unto him. 35: So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye
from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.
A parable and a
picture or type never stands on four legs.
We know that no sinner forgiven by God will be cast out into hell. The end of the unmerciful servant declares
mercy uncommunicated to others is mercy that has not truly been given from God
in the first place.
"Blessed are the
merciful: for they shall obtain mercy." But absence of love proves a man to have never been the
object of God’s mercy in the first place.
If the servant had been created anew within in regeneration he would
have had the Spirit of Christ within him which is merciful and forgiving. God’s mercy makes sinners merciful.
Knowing that God the
Father never casts into hell one for whom Christ died, we conclude that those
who refuse to forgive from the heart have made a false profession of Christ and
have not been given a new heart by God and have not been forgiven by God A man proves himself to still possess only a
hard, unregenerate heart. So Christ
says,
Mark 11:26: But if ye
do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your
trespasses.
God’s children are
made willing by Christ’s power, by God’s all-sufficient grace to forgive our
brethren because we reverence God.
God’s forgiveness makes us reverence God.
Psalms 130:4: But
there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared.
Reverencing God, we
want to obey God—v33: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy
fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?
I do not want to dishonor God by not forgiving my brethren when they
sin against me—because I have been forgiven and I fear God! My motive to forgive is the respect and
reverence for God who has forgiven me justly for Christ’s sake. He commands me to forgive as he has forgiven
me and I want to!
God graciously makes his
children receivers that we may be givers—v35” that ye from your hearts
forgive every one his brother their trespasses.
Christ does not set my hand free that I might take my brother “by
the throat?” And Christ does
not command us to make bricks without straw—what he commands he gives strength
to perform. Everything that we need to
forgive our brethren, Christ provides. He
creates in us a new, forgiving heart so that we forgive from the heart. The Holy Spirit makes us merciful like our
Master. We are still sinners and
sometimes have great difficulty forgiving our brethren. But when God would have us forgive, he gives
more grace to make us forgive.
Notice v31 the other “fellow servants saw and were
very sorry and came and told their lord.”
Those in whom Christ dwells are sorry when they see oppression and
wrong. It is because we know that the
same sin-nature is in us. Apart from
God’s grace, we will not forgive as we ought but will be unmerciful. It is the only thing our sin-nature is. And we see what believers do when we
behold oppression. We flee to the Judge
of the whole earth and trust Christ our King to take care of oppression and
wrongs like these fellowservants went to their lord.
Now, finally, who gets the glory for making us forgive
our brethren? God gets all the glory
when we forgive our brethren the same as he does for all other fruit produced
in us.
James 3: 17: But the
wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be
intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and
without hypocrisy. 18: And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them
that make peace.
Philippians 1:11: Being
filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto
the glory and praise of God.
Amen!